Golden Sun: Of Adepts and Potatoes
by crazy-but-fun
Summary: It's here! The Grand Festival of Vale! ...make that the POTATO festival of Vale. How will the Adepts cope with the festival? It'll turn their world upside down! Chapter up! I'm currently doing some revamping...you could say, a complete change?
1. Chaotic Preperations

Chapter 1 – Chaotic Preparations

Every year, there would be a festival. The annual festival would be special, always having a delightful theme for all Adepts to enjoy (coughs loudly) But this year, they were desperate.

"P-p…POTATOES?" a distressed cry exploded. "You must be kidding. After all these hundreds of years, their best idea is POTATOES?"

"Well Mia…It wasn't my idea, so you can't blame me."

Mia huffed and glared behind her and saw Ivan, twiddling his thumbs. She felt rage explode through her.

"But potatoes…why does it have to be potatoes? Even carrots would have been better…" Mia snarled.

_Carrots?_ Ivan thought. _Carrots are stupid. Why is she thinking of carrots?_

"Oh come on, potatoes are just actually an alien species that plans to take over the world and kill small blonde kids like you Ivan!" Garet suddenly sang as he slid past, pirouetting like a ballerina.

Ivan cringed and moved closer to Mia.

"...well that made everything much better, didn't it?"

* * *

"Hey! Pack your bags, we're going to Vale!"

Excitement rushed around the Mars Tribe. It was the Annual Festival, and everyone knew how fun it was…at least they assumed it would be fun. Every year, a truce would be held among all Adepts and they would give a mad dash for Vale. The capacity there was only around one thousand, so it was first come first serve...of course, many wanted to_ go_, but _some_ didn't...

"I can't see why this festival is so important Saturos!" a golden-haired girl with red scars painted across her face squealed at a taller cerulean-haired boy who was easily using his Psynergy to move his belongings into a large duffel bag.

Saturos groaned. He had already explained this to his younger sister fifteen times that week.

"You were too young to go to the festival last year. You can't miss the festival THIS year. THEN you will see why the festival is so much fun." Saturos sighed. "Now pack your bags like the Elder said."

"But brother, I went to the Mall yesterday and I saw this pretty dress I wanted to buy! I decided I could buy it later but-" Menardi griped.

"Oh shut up. We can buy some dumb dress for you at the fair. You do know what you made me do last time when I tried to buy you a dress…"

_Flashback_

"Ahem brother, there's something I really, REALLY want!" Menardi squealed, bouncing vigorously at her brother's side.  
Saturos ignored his sister completely. Menardi grumbled, and cleared her throat again.

"AHEM brother, there's something I WANT!" she screeched, recieving glares from nearby shoppers.

"Patience Menardi, I didn't bring much money today. We can buy it next time. And plus, you know how painful it is to take care of our household and earn money…" Saturos grunted. His sister did this to him all the time.

"But you said that LAST time!" she whimpered.

Then she plastered on her cutest, face, her eyes growing small and shiny and squealed: "Brother, steal it, you can steal it!"

Saturos turned and noticed the bald shopkeeper tapping his toes.

"Ahem. Menardi, NO." Saturos sharply said, rubbing his eyelids that hid the annoyed look in his scarlet eyes.

"Brother, buy it, you can buy it!" Menardi quickly came back after noticing the disgruntled shopkeeper.

The shopkeeper then left the suspicious pair with strange clothing and markings all over their face. Usually armored folks meant trouble, but the male seemed to be keeping the obnoxious female from snatching at dresses, rings, and lots of cosmetics.

"Use your Psynergy!" she squealed quietly into her irritated brother's pointy ears.

"FINE!" he snarled back. "But only this time! Next time, bring your own money."

And without the shopkeeper noticing, (of course he didn't notice because Psynergy is invisible to non-adept,) a hand materialized out of thin air, gripped the dress and moved the puffy shirt out the door.

"Hey, good idea using catch…I didn't know you had Catch Beads!" Menardi squealed.

"Bah." Saturos said, pulling out green beads that were strung to a string. "Of course, a Mars Adept is ready for everything. Now hurry before that stout shopkeeper finds out that a dress is missing."

The two swiftly walked by the counter, Menardi stopped to give a malevolent grin, showing the shopkeeper some sharp teeth. The shopkeeper bounded backwards, cursing madly.

The 'invisible' hand was waiting outside with the dress. Menardi squealed and swung the dress around a bit too vigorously, and the dress went flying into a spiked bush, ripping it to pieces.

"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Menardi wailed, leaving Saturos to groan in disdain.

"You really disappoint me." he moaned and slapped his head.

_End Flashback_

Menardi grumbled, and started to pack her bags as well in a large red bag. Her brother had said enough to shut her up, and if she didn't, he would probably bring out his blade and cut off her head.

* * *

"Potatoes…potatoes…potatoes…nope, don't got any decorations for potatoes…" Jenna mumbled, stroking thoughtfully at her burgundy ponytail. "Why did they have to choose potatoes? After all, I do have lots of flower decorations, they should have chosen flowers!"

She pulled out a long strand of flowers that seemed to be chained together.

"Nope, not a potato…"

She pulled at a box and sent a shower of pretty pink flowers into the air.

"Nope, not potatoes either…"

Then she found a large box.

"Hmm, I wonder what this is supposed to contain?" Jenna wondered and gave a yank- "And why do I hear a large rumbling?"

Jenna gave a heave at the box opening, and a flood of roses, cherry blossoms, daisies, tulips (a few sunflowers) and many weeds that looked like flowers.

"JENNA? WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP IN THE STORAGE HOUSE ATTIC?"

Jenna groaned. It was Isaac, probably looking for trouble. Isaac's yellow hair poked up into the storage room opening and Jenna hesitantly thought a moment, and then slammed the attic door on his head.

"OWWWWWWWWW!"

Isaac's noise would be noticed, so it was time for escape. Opening the small attic window, she squeezed out of the small space and went tumbling out the window, scrambling back to the river so it would look like she was gathering water for the festival.

"Isaac! What happened?" Mia squealed when she saw the large red lump on his head.

"Uhh, what! Nothing happened! And there's definitely NOTHING going out of my head RIGHT? Right! Ok BYE!" Isaac screeched and sped off like a bullet, leaving Mia in the dust blinking. 


	2. Ever Lovely Potatoes

A/N: In this story (just to tell you), Saturos and Menardi are brother and sister.

"Taters?"

"NO! THE THEME IS POTATO! LOOK WHAT YOU GOT ME INTO! WE'LL BE TRAVELING FOR THREE DAYS WHEN I COULD BE BUYING PRETTY DRESSES, JEWELRY AND MAKEUP! HOW COULD YOU BROTHER?"

Saturos winced. Wasn't taters the same thing as potatoes?

Menardi was fed up. Yesterday her brother told her how much fun the festival was, but potatoes? It had to be a joke. They had just packed the caravan, and in hour's time, a hawk had swooped down with a message from Vale:

_Dear Mars Tribe,_

We are glad that you have taken the time to put a truce among all other Adepts and are coming to the Festival. All the people of Vale have tried to put up with the festival theme, and are all trying hard to make the festival a success. Coming to the Festival shall make it even more of a success. The Festival's theme is Potatoes. You can't miss Vale. By the time you get there, it shall look like a ginormous potato itself.

Sincerely,  
Elders of Vale

"Ginormous?" Saturos murmured, rubbing his chin.

Ginormous wasn't even a real word. Or was it? But the idea of potatoes was pretty preposterous, but he knew he needed to convince his little sister to like this. He quickly devised a very (VERY) stupid story.

"Umm…well, there has been, uh, a great use of potatoes in this Tribe, did you, er, not know that?" Saturos began uncertainly.

Menardi eyed her brother suspiciously. Potatoes? Of what use to the Mars Tribe would potatoes be?

"So, what good are potatoes to the Mars Tribe?" she said promptly, obviously wanting to see what her brother thought.

"Uh, well, err… umm, potatoes have been, an, er, good food supply when we ran out of food?" Saturos stuttered doubtful of what he would say next.

His sister glared at him again.

"And HAS there ever been a food shortage in the Mars Tribe?" she glowered, glaring at him disbelievingly.

"Uh, YES!" the panicked reply came quickly.

Menardi waited a bit longer.

"So?"

"Umm, well did you know about the Irish? They WILL have a great famine and they'll eat potatoes but because their potatoes are gone...they'll all die!." (I'm not trying to offend anyone. And...this is a messed up version of the story)

"How do you know this stuff? Are you making things up? What's Irish? YOU'RE A FAT LIAR!" Menardi squealed angrily, throwing down her unfinished (nor started) potato salad.

Saturos gave a great sigh, for his sister always seemed to not pay attention to his lessons on his so-called 'history'.

"...I'm not fat..." he sighed as they set off to the caravan.

* * *

"Potato, baked potato, potato salad, potato ice cream?"

Mia grabbed the list away from Ivan, who was reading what was to be cooked.

"Potato ice cream? Whoever heard about potato ice cream? This is going too far." Mia sputtered, and slapped the list back into Ivan's hands. "And I hope I'M not the cook… but maybe…" Ivan then cut off Mia.

"Isn't Isaac supposed to be sending the invitations?" Ivan then fumbled through the invitations. "The invitations state that all Adepts from the upper parts of Imil that were in hiding from the disastrous events are returning, the people that immigrated away from Vale after the disaster of the Mount Aleph Boulder are returning, the few Adepts left near the Suhalla Desert are also coming, and the Mars Tribe are coming."

"MARS TRIBE?" Mia squealed, grabbing the invitations list. "But isn't that the same tribe that Saturos and Menardi are in?"

"Who are Saturos and Menardi?" Ivan mumbled, stifling a yawn.

Mia nearly exploded.

"YOU FORGOT THEM ALREADY? WE WERE JUST FIGHTING THEM SEVERAL DAYS AGO WHEN WE RECEIVED THE MESSAGE ABOUT THE FESTIVAL!" she roared, nearly causing Ivan to tumble head over heels.

"Then why is Kraden, Jenna and Felix not in their care anymore?" Ivan sniffed tactically. "And didn't they fall into the lighthouse aerie?"

Mia gave him a stiff glare. Ivan seemed to be having a short-term memory loss. And to make matters worse, he was such a smart-alec.

"Duh! Remember the SIGNED treaty that all Adepts signed so there would be peace among all others during the yearly festival? And so that nobody would kill others before they got to the festival?" Mia squawked, then suddenly calmed down. "And where did Isaac go? I saw him run off when he spotted me. He's supposed to be searching for the invitations that haven't been sent…"

Ivan gave a great sigh of relief as he saw Mia's hair go bobbing off into the grass. And then he gagged. For of in the distance, with Mia, was Alex, with a malevolent smile pulling at his mouth.

* * *

"A-A-ALEX? Why him?"

After an hour of explanation of why she had brought Alex, who was of in the distance pulling back his long cobalt hair from getting in his face while cooking, Ivan was still dumbstruck.

"B-but isn't he o-our enemy?" he protested, uselessly pulling away at Mia's sleeves.

Mia gave him a hard glare and ignored him. But Ivan continued the pulling and finally blew Mia's top.

"REMEMBER? DURING THE TIMES OF THE FESTIVAL, ALL ADEPTS ARE AT A TRUCE! NOW DO YOU GET IT?"

"I still don't like the idea…" Ivan muttered tartly, and received a slap on the face for his troubles.

Mia then headed over to Alex with a protesting Ivan at her heels.

"LOOKIT! IT'S ALEX!"

"HE'S SUCH A CUTIE!"

And then a whole bunch of fan girls trampling like a herd of buffalo tumbled Mia and Ivan head over heels.

"O…ow…" Ivan squealed weakly.

The two had been flattened into the ground by the stampede.

…Several minutes later…

"What happened here? Mia, Ivan, is that you?"

Isaac and Garet had been walking around for half an hour searching for Mia and Ivan. But to put it promptly for all those who are slower on the happenings, the two found them. 


	3. Alex the Superior Chef – Part 1

A/N: Oh sorry I haven't been saying this; I've been too lazy. I don't own Golden Sun.

Chapter 3

Ivan continued sulking by Isaac's house. Mia continued to be drawn in by Alex's newfound charm.

_Ok…this is too scary._ Ivan thought as Alex sang the most terrifying words ever: "Oh Mia my lovely rose in a bush of…err…rotting daisies, my…err…uh…fly in a dung pile…yeah. You get me, right?"

Mia continued drooling over him and nodding endlessly. 

_How can that draw her in? Fly in a dung pile? I really hope he's joking...is it me, or has he lost several - no, take that back, ALL of his brain cells since I last saw him?_ Ivan glanced back again to see Alex attempting to smooth talk Mia.

"Err…my…sweet lemon…uh…my love for you is the size of a mouse…um…no…wait…aha!" Alex suddenly snapped up and did the splits, then struck a dramatic pose after wincing from the pain from the splits. 

"Romeo, oh Romeo – wait…" Alex's face burnt red as he finally figured out what he had just stupidly slipped out of his mouth.

Mia suddenly snapped out of her trance and began screaming endlessly at Alex: "YOU IDIOT!" and "YOU SAY I'M A BOY?" and also endless streams of "ROMEO THIS!" then she slammed his head with a nearby pot.

Ivan laughed and began to sneak off when suddenly he bumped into a random moving object…that happened to be Garet.

"Oof." He mumbled. "GARET! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Garet embarrassedly rubbed his head.

"Eh…nothing…really, its nothing…" he squeaked and began to run off as fast as possible.

Ivan blinked. Garet was acting abnormally more stupid, if that was even possible.

_Oh well, better get out of here before someone spots me…at least Garet's too stupid to bother with –_

Nasty singing from Alex interrupted his thoughts. Something about "Lovely Mia, you are a dead rose in my bush of fresh daisies."

And then, there was a painful crack coming from the direction the singing had come from.

"YOU'RE EVEN MORE STUPID THAN THAT –"

Ivan decided he had done enough snooping for one day.

* * *

All was going according to plan. After months of being called the idiot of the group, Garet had finally decided that this insulting had gone too far. Hopefully, everyone would notice another stupidity instead of his all the time. Hopefully, Ivan wouldn't discover first. And now, hopefully Alex would do his job perfectly. 

"YOU'RE EVEN MORE STUPID THAN THAT GARET!" Mia screeched, grabbing fistfuls of Alex's hair and twisting them out, receiving painful shouts from her victim.

Perfect. Alex had done his job, and now, he hopefully would be able to fulfill Alex's request. Replace him in the cooking job. It was a pretty risky thing though, knowing how his cooking was terrible, and how Alex's was probably better compared to his. But as long as his friends would stop calling him an idiot, this was a good price to pay. Now hopefully nothing would get in the way…Unfortunately, his plea wasn't heard, as Ivan walked leisurely past the table and tasted a bit of Alex's potato salad…that of course, everyone knew was…

"TERRIBLE!" Ivan screamed and took out his Shaman's Rod and began to hit Alex forcefully on the head while Mia wagged her head up and down in agreement.

Garet groaned. Things were going to turn out the wrong way. Alex continued to whine furiously as Ivan shoved him away from the cooking area. Mia just continued to bob her head in agreement.

"Mia my lovely! I shall not forget thee who is uglier than Agatio, and who is scarier than Karst!"(ouch...that's real mean) was Alex's last squeal before Ivan rolled him down a cliff.

Alex was mad. Real. So mad, he was terribly mad. Did I mention he was mad? People know what happens to mad people. They become madmen. This was his 15th time becoming one.

"Oh, I'll get that Ivan…and his friends…and all those idiots who did nothing…and especially that Garet that got me into this mess!" he screamed for the third time while bashing his skull furiously on the wall of Isaac's house.

Isaac came out curiously to see what it was.

"Alex, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be cooking? And…I wouldn't bonk your head on my house if I were you…" he muttered, looking up at the roof, and to himself, he remembered when he first went on his journey and he was patching up the roof…and how Garet had fallen through. That hay wasn't very sturdy.

"Why not?" Alex snapped back, a smug expression on his face. What could a kid like that do to him? A couple seconds later, Alex figured out why. He returned to the cooking area with some bird-dropping covered hay on his head.

"I think he's blown a fuse…" Ivan muttered as he spied Alex bouncing up and down pounding the ground, his hay-covered face uttering colorful words.

Mia nodded in agreement as Alex gave up on getting rid of the hay, grabbed a flamethrower (_What's that? _Ivan thought, because the Flamethrower hadn't been invented yet), kicked it up into gear, and burnt a nearby chicken. That was the last thing the two saw before they felt their heads bashed by mallets, and then they fainted.

… 

…

…

"AAAAAARGH!"

Ivan began screaming. He had just got up from unconsciousness to see a whole bunch of spiders crawling around. And to make matters worse, they were stuck in some kind of barred-off prison in a cave. Mia, lying on the ground behind him, had fallen asleep, and was now snoring. A droplet of drool was sliding out from her mouth, and a spider was approaching her mouth. Ivan decided it was best to wake her up.

"MI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WAKEY WAKEEEEY!" Ivan screamed, ignoring the spiders that were coming out of his clothing and shook Mia back and forth, until she woke up, and saw the spider crawling on her.

There was an ear-splitting scream.


	4. Alex the Superior Chef Part 2

Chapter 4 – Alex the Superior Chef – Part II – The Plot Thickens

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter last time, I guess this one's going to be longer. I DON'T OWN GOLDEN SUN, or any Thick Plots except for this one. Thanks for reading everyone, please review now because I know how that there is only very few Golden Sun Fanatics out there…oh well, thank you for even stopping by.

* * *

Indeed, the day had already been eventful enough for Ivan and Mia…but who knew what Alex was to do next? He had been acting funny, but stupid was more like it. Mia was batting off spiders from her dress, while Ivan was attempting to blow off the bars of the prison they were stuck in. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to recover his Psyenergy, so he could only create a tiny gust.

"Drats! That's the last of my Psyenergy… hey Mia, got any Psyenergy left?" Ivan inquired, attempting one last tornado, which turned out to only be a bit of wind that probably couldn't even send an ant flying.

Mia continued brushing off the spiders, not paying a bit attention to Ivan and that she was also brushing the spiders on Ivan's pants.

"MIA! STOP LOITERING AND HELP!" Ivan began brushing the spiders off his pants and waited for Mia to start using some Psyenergy. When she had just finished freezing the iron bars, Ivan had just noticed his mistake. "AAAAAARRRRGHHHH!!!"

He had just made Mia get them even more stuck in their mess. And then he noticed Alex sneaking past. Luckily, he couldn't see them through the barrier of ice.

"Hey! Hey Al-" Mia began to squeal before Ivan slapped her mouth shut.

Alex glanced around nervously, not noticing the ice barrier and began mumbling to himself. Ivan pressed his ear at the ice, wincing, but straining to hear what he was saying.

"…Truce…stupid…perfect timing…destroy world…my lovely Mia…sour lemon…"

Ivan groaned. Alex was still thinking about taking over the world AND thinking about his 'lovely Mia'. He thought about telling Mia, but she still had a soft side for Alex, so she might tell him that he was eavesdropping on him, so he sealed his mouth shut. Literally.

* * *

The food lay unprepared. The potatoes were left partially cut. The salad had an unusual scent around them. And Alex was nowhere to be found. Isaac glanced around at the mess. His mother would have his head if that was his mess, and luckily, it wasn't.

_I wonder where Alex went? And where's the others?_ He mused, and glanced around. He saw only Felix, Sheba, Jenna, and Piers. But the others were nowhere to be seen.

"Hey Felix, have you seen any of the other guys?" Isaac asked.

Felix snorted and suddenly was jabbed by Picard (Piers) who was whining furiously. He slapped Picard (I don't support the pairing. Sorry if I offended anyone, but I'm not that kinda person.) and turned around to face Isaac.

"Of course not! These guys have been bothering me all day about if I can perform in the so-called 'Potato Talent Show'. Corny, really!" he muttered, and then he turned around and whacked Picard(Muahaha...) again, who was about to ask him: "Are you going to enter the Potato Talent Show?"

He then moved over to Jenna.

"Hey Jenna? Have you seen the others?"

Jenna only shrugged, then turned to her brother and started whining: "Can you PLEAAAASE join the Potato Talent Show? We need one more person to play the ambulance!"

Felix only shook his head angrily, and then turned to slap Picard (AHAHAHA!) again.

When he finally asked Sheba, she pointed him to behind his house.

_Something fishy is definitely going on…how could anyone sneak past my house? And what's behind my house that I don't know? _He thought furiously, and began to walk behind his house.

He saw a wall of ice plastered on the face of the small cliff above his house.

It's probably Mia… he considered, and then sent a Ragnarok slamming into the ice. Ivan wobbled out, a huge scar branded on his cheek, pulling Mia along with him.

"Mmmmmffmmmm…" Ivan moaned, teetering around in circles before falling in a heap, dragging Mia to the floor too.

"Oops…" Isaac shrugged and tried to pull both of them up from the ground. "What's wrong with you Ivan?"  
Ivan only blinked and toppled into the ground again.

"I think he's hiding a seee-creett." Mia said, emphasizing the word 'secret'.

Ivan only glared at Mia, who was obviously trying to get him to talk.

"Well if we can't get anything out of him, then what about Garet? And where is he anyways?"

Ivan just turned to look at someone familiar walking towards them, wobbling every time he stepped. It was Alex.  
"He…seems a little…drunk…" Isaac blurted.

"…Not a little…very." Mia added, seeing that Alex's head was swinging closer and closer to the ground every time he walked, then he would attempt to push his head lower and lower again. "Alex, is there something…wrong with you?"

"…"

All eyes were set on Alex, who was now pretending he was a ballerina and tried to grab Mia to dance with him. Finally, the only three words he blurted out was:

"Pick my nose!" to Mia, who edged back, obviously disturbed by the once calm and cool Alex, who had turned into…a drunk? Perhaps it was time to wake him up…A huge grin broadened on Mia's face, as she rolled Alex into a ball and walked closer and closer towards a random cliff…

* * *

Meanwhile, with Felix and his group…

"Are you going to enter the Potato Talent Show?"

"Shut up Picard (ahaha...)."

"Are you going to enter the Potato Talent Show?"

"Shut up Sheba."

"AreyougoingtoenterthePotatoTalentShow?"

"I won't say shut up to my own sister, but I will toss you in the water if you don't shut your yap."

"Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase! PLEAAAAAAASE BE THE AMBULANCE!"

"No Picard, shut up.(Ku, ku, ku...)"

"Eheh! Stop calling me PICARD as you put it!"

"That IS your name though…would you prefer Piers?"

"YES!"

"Well too bad."

"Weeeeee wwoooooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee woooo!"

* * *

_…Okay…meanwhile, with Isaac and company…_

"Isaac, are we there yet? Where are we going?"

"No, just a bit longer Mia, stop whining! And I don't CARE where we're going!"

"Mmmmfmfmfffffrrgh!"

"I'm glad you can't speak right now Ivan, just shut up."

"MMIITTWSWATWOWSMWENWADI!"

"Whadya mean Ivan? I don't understand a SINGLE word you're saying."

"Roughly translated, he's saying: 'It's Saturos and Menardi.' It's a good thing I took gibberish classes in fifth grade. DUH. Even amateurs know that."

And during the time it had took the three to stir up an argument, Saturos and Menardi had finally arrived at the foothills of Vale…

* * *

"Wow, this place IS pretty! No wonder it scores 10 on attractions list, 10 on loveliness list, 10 on sightseeing list, and a…10 on friendliness? But why is Isaac so mean and nasty?" Saturos coughed, and passed the list to Menardi, who was still grumbling.

"No wonder…this area smells like potatoes…potatoes probably changes the way people act around Proxians…" Menardi huffed. "It's your fault anyways that you decided to drag us from north all the way to this ugly spot…"

"It's NOT ugly!"

"Is too!"

"Is SO not!"

"It SO WAY is! And so is Isaac, Garet, Ivan, Mia, Felix, Jenna, Sheba, Picard-"

"Wait…how do you know those weirdoes? I thought they didn't come until the second game in which we're already dead?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Good point…ehh…of course, it's not like I own Golden Sun myself or the Lost Age…eheheheh…" Saturos giggled madly.

"Saturos…are you ok?"

Saturos began chuckling madly, his head bobbing as fast as a beaver's head when it bites wood…that looked strange for Saturos.

"Whatever, I'm going to look around for shops!" Menardi squealed and dashed off in the nearest direction of a store, leaving Saturos to bob his head.

A couple seconds later, Saturos popped out of his trance and saw a ton of Valeans surrounding him.

"Who are you?" Saturos snapped furiously at the nearest person.

"Ah, we're the A.H.H.!"

"Aah?"

"No, it's a simple acronym: Annoying Headache Heroes!"

The group of people began singing a very annoying tune. Saturos covered his ears.

_We are the AAAAAH!  
The delightfully annoying AAAAAAH!  
We like to scream a lot  
But many don't give us a thought,  
We beat up the ugly  
And walk off smugly  
But many like to bash us people  
Until we're just only heap-les!_

"…Heap-les? That isn't even a word you wimps, and thanks for that idea, I think I'll beat you guys up as well." Saturos growled, flames erupting into his eyes.

"Nuh-unh! YOU agreed to the PEACE treaty, so you CAN'T beat us up TODAY or until the festival ENDS!" The leader, a teen in his 18's pointed.

"OH, but what until the festival ENDS? THEN what will you do, I can BEAT YOU UP THEN AS WELL, CAN'T I?"  
"But can you WAIT?"

_…Five minutes later…_

A vein pulsed in Saturos's forehead. The A.H.H. were taunting him and running around in circles singing multiple songs, one called: _I Hate You, You Hate Me"_, which was dedicated for Saturos's hate for them. Menardi finally scrambled out of the nearest department store in Vale, hands full of dresses and jewelry.

"Oh Saty-poo!" Menardi gushed. "Thanks for bringing me to this potato festival!"

_At least ONE of us is happy… _

The A.H.H. began squealing.

"Oooooh, another outsider! Let's sing them another song!"

Saturos plugged his ears, ready for the annoying blast of music.

_Oh god, someone kill me…_

* * *

A/N: Well, thanks for actually reading this far…for that, you can now review! 

Next Chapter: Alex the Superior Chef – Part III – The Meanest Adept

Well, Garet is still up to that 'ingenious' plan of his, but then, a little fight stirs up with Ivan and Garet, so it's Midgets V.S. Idiots…who will win?


	5. Alex the Superior Chef Part 3

Chapter 5 - Alex the Superior Chef – Part III – The Meanest Adept

A/N: Well peoples, I hope you liked my last few chapters…anyways, here's another part of Alex the Superior Chef! I DON'T OWN GOLDEN SUN OR BURNING HOUSES!

* * *

Isaac sat in a cloud of melancholy. Mia was busy searching everywhere for Garet, and Ivan had his lips sealed about what was going on. If Ivan could start speaking, then Mia wouldn't have to go through the pain of searching in Garet's favorite spots…that of course, wouldn't be mentioned in this story due to the…oddness of these places, but I will name one, which would be…dunking his head in the toilet and…flushing it…Ivan sat by Isaac mumbling inaudible nonsense. But what if this nonsense had something to do with the 'stupid' Alex and the missing Garet?

"You know Ivan…" Isaac began, a strange bit of something evil in his voice. Ivan nodded for him to go on. "I know how much you LOVE mountain climbing…" a huge toothy grin. Ivan shuddered. "And I was thinking that we could go MOUNTAIN climbing on that huge mountain there…" Isaac flashed another freakishly huge smile. Ivan shrunk by an inch. Isaac pointed to a tall mountain that was shorter than Mount Aleph by a millimeter. "SO Ivan do you WANT to go?"

Ivan meekly nodded his head. Isaac grinned. If he couldn't get Ivan to speak, maybe when he needed help climbing a mountain, what would he do?

…Meanwhile, on the bottom of Vale…

Saturos was listening to another round of the A.H.H's singing because Menardi thought it was cute. She especially liked the 'I hate you, you hate me' song.

…But MEANWHILE with Alex…

Alex was flustered. He had been tossed down his hill by his truest love, the fair-haired Mia of his dreams. But he knew that acts of hate meant love – tough love. And he loved tough love, so he was still dreamy as ever. But he still remembered his promise to Garet, so he guessed it was for the better. Just as long as that Ivan didn't say anything. He had a funny feeling about the midget, which was always getting into other's businesses somehow. He had walked pass a frozen wall, which was probably Mia, but wherever Mia was, there was always someone with her…perhaps it had been Ivan, but it couldn't have been Garet because he was somewhere, while Isaac had been down at the base of Vale, so…it was Ivan. He might have heard his muttering…He bonked his head.

_How could I have been so stupid! _ He thought furiously, and pondered what to do next. He realized there was only one thing to do…take down Ivan first.

…Meanwhile (sorry! I can't think of anything else…stupid me) with the two mountain climbers…

Ivan was about to burst into tears. He was terrified of rockslides, earthquakes, and whatnot, but was even more terrified of heights. They were only a bit up in the mountain, but Ivan had already freaked. He refused to speak still. Isaac on the other hand was urging him to hurry up.

"Come on Ivan! Hurry up! We don't have all day!"

Ivan mumbled something under his breath, and continued up the hill. Isaac crawled up with ease. Ivan stumbled up the hill, and twice lost his footing. He was about to shout for a bit of help, but he knew that then, he knew that then, Isaac would nag him into talking with him about the disappearance of Garet. Of course, he had nothing to say or know about it. Well he did know a bit. But that bit was nothing for Isaac to know; otherwise Alex would probably stalk him down along with him.

_I wonder what Ivan's thinking… Isaac thought. _ In such a time like this, he wished to have mind read. But unfortunately, he was a Venus Adept…but he could always bribe Sheba in doing it for him…_Sheba likes chocolate, but she really loves teddy bears…where could I get her one?_

Ivan was now frantically trying to get up the mountain without loosing balance. Isaac turned around to see him waving for a bit of help. Isaac ignored it.

"Fine! Help me!" Ivan snapped, nearly dropping from his ledge.

Isaac grinned smugly.

"Now tell me about this disappearance."

"I won't I can't! I refuse! It's nothing to do with you or me!" he muffled in a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. "If I do, then you'll be in this troublesome spot too!" he attempted a small tornado to lift him back to Vale, but ended up flying around in torrents of air, but finally, before Isaac could get back to Vale, he crashed into Isaac's roof…he then saw the silhouette of somebody rustling around, and attempted to sneak on in quietly. Instead he went crashing down, destroying a bit of the doorway. He flicked on the lights.

"Garet?"

"Ivan?"

"Cluck-cluck."

A random chicken walked past them. They both stared at it for a moment, then eyes up aflame, they both glared at each other.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were mountain climbing with Isaac!" Garet snapped.

"I thought you were missing! And Mia's still searching for you!" Ivan glared daggers back. "You shouldn't be on Isaac's property too!"

"Well guess what Mr. I-think-I'm-so-great-and-smart, I'm Isaac's friend, and he wouldn't care if I was in here!" Garet snarled back.

And then they glared again.

"Cluck."

Both turned angrily on the chicken and…it was relieved of its feathers and was baked into a crisp.

"Now where were we again?" Garet mumbled, and then the two faced off again.

"Well at least I'm not an idiot!" Ivan sneered.

"Well at least I'm not mistaken as a rat!" Garet growled, 

"I'M NOT A RAT!" Ivan screamed as Garet cast Inferno on him, however nimbly dodging it - at least, that was what he thought.

The hem of his cloak had caught aflame, and Ivan quickly put it out and cast a tornado, sending Garet out the straw roof. But before Garet was sent flying out the window, he _accidentally_ cast Pyroclasm, sending a good deal of Isaac's house into flames, leaving Ivan to put the flames out. After attempting to put out the flames, (he had very little effect on the flames) Mia suddenly came in.

"Hey Ivan! What happened!" she screamed over the roar of the fire.

"Garet set Isaac's house on fire! Could it be any more obvious?" Ivan screamed back. "Cast douse or something!"

Mia muttered douse, and the house stopped burning. The only problem now that it was drenched, and it was dripping with water.

"I can fix that." Ivan quickly offered, and blew a small gust through the house. "Now how are we going to explain to Isaac that his 'best friend' set a third of his house on fire?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isaac sat on top of the small hill. He had seen smoke a moment ago, but several seconds later, it had vanished. Perhaps his friends were there. He walked down the stone stairs to his house to see…  
"A THIRD OF MY HOUSE IS DESTROYED?" Isaac gaped at the large mess.

"Now you can be just like me!" Jenna squealed and skipped right past him.

Isaac was now stuck in a rain cloud.

"Ok. What happened here!" he screamed. He saw two faces poke out from behind the rubble of the third of his destroyed house.

"Err…Isaac, you might not believe us…but Garet set your house on fire…" Ivan whimpered.

"Nonsense! It's not possible…well actually it is…seeing all these scorch marks…and these wet floors…" Isaac mused. Ivan groaned. He should have blown the ground more thoroughly. "And a bit of the carpets are disheveled…but nonetheless in an ok condition…"

"You aren't going to kill us?" Mia piped up.

"No…but I know that somebody is going to be doing lots of remodeling…but right now, we better check on the preparations…otherwise, who knows what bad things might follow us?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex was getting frantic. He had to cook in several minutes, and if he didn't finish his plan, then Ivan might give his idea out…that was unless he was too scared…but that was fine, he could spare a bit longer to cook…but hopefully, nobody would get suspicions about him. He edged nervously over to the cooking table and pretended to naturally slice several potatoes…and then, just as he was about to finish cutting…

"HELLO THERE YOUNGSTER!" Kraden screamed, slapping Alex heartily on the back.

"Hmph! Just cause there is a truce doesn't mean you can suddenly start acting even more like an idiot!" Alex snapped, whacking Kraden back as well. "Now leave me alone before I cut a finger."

Alex looked down.

"Oh thanks, I already cut a bruise on my finger you old coot, thanks." He snarled.

"No problem, I would love to do it again!" Kraden added as he left.

_Now back to cutting the potatoes…slowly…breathe in…breathe out…calmly now Alex…just a bit longer…hopefully that idiot hasn't forgotten our deal…_

Garet arrived gasping.

"Sheesh, it's about time." Alex muttered. "I was so excited I cut myself…"

"…Really?"

"No. Now get over here and wear this wig, put on this clothing, here, take this chef hat."

* * *

A/N: Urgh, not much of a cliffhanger, but I guess there might be five parts to Alex the Superior Chef, and there will be two 'The Meanest Adept'. So I hope you enjoyed this Chappie…now please review…ugh… 


	6. Alex the Superior Chef – Part 4

Chapter 6 - Alex the Superior Chef – Part IV – The Meanest Adept Part 2

A/N: Blah…nobody's been reviewing, but I'm still going to update.

* * *

To become a great chef, one must first feel the essence of cooking…

(See page 5)

When one cooks, one must be prepared for the unexpected…

When one cooks, they must feel the whim of excitement for preparing food for others…

Garet slammed down the book furiously.

"What kind of book teaches people yoga? This is lame!" he mused angrily. It had been his fault to switch spots with Alex but…this had gone way too far.

Alex was now attempting to fit on a wig that looked like Garet's hair…that was difficult because it was heavy.

"Sheesh, how could you carry this weight all over your head?" Alex snapped, trying to make the most stupid face ever so he could imitate Garet.

"Well at least I'm not smothered by your so-called lovey-dovey relationship with Mia." He muttered, and began fitting on the chef's hat.

Alex stared in a direction for a moment, then turned around and shook Garet back and forth.

"Isaac's coming! Hurry up and put on your stuff!" Alex screeched. During the struggle to get ready, nobody noticed Ivan hiding behind a ledge, spying on their 'change'.

Garet finally put on the little apron and pushed Alex in a different direction.

"Hello Alex, have you seen Garet by any chance? He got lost again I think." Isaac began uncertainly.

Garet thought a moment, and remembered how Alex spoke all the time.

"Hmph, just cause it's a truce doesn't mean YOU can go butting around in my businesses, the redhead wimp went that way." Garet-Alex muttered angrily, and pointed to the direction to the bottom of Vale.

"Err…sorry…thanks anyways…" Isaac muttered nervously, and headed for the bottom of Vale.

* * *

Alex was plainly lost. He had snuck behind a boulder so nobody would see him, but then, the boulder got lodged in the small gate space. He could have used his Psyenergy, but the villagers of Vale had written a new rule – no more Psyenergy while in Vale. The destruction of a third of Isaac's house had…a funny effect on Dora.

"YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT SOMEBODY BURNED DOWN A THIRD OF MY PRECIOUS HOUSE? I HAD MY MONEY IN THERE!" she had been screaming. And Isaac had said: "…Mom, didn't you say that a lost life can't be replaced while objects can?"

Dora was still very angry anyways.

"WHAT ABOUT THE FAMILY STUFF!"

"…Mom, chill."

Dora had run off ranting away and slapping anyone who tried to comfort her. Isaac had earned a good spanking as well for contradicting his own mother. A lovely red mark was branded on his behind, but nobody wanted to know that anyways.

But that didn't help the fact that he was lost in a gated area near that stupid scholar Kraden's house…now hopefully he wouldn't find him. His hopes were shattered when Kraden wobbled over the cliff and fell over.

"Garet! What are you doing here?" Kraden gushed.

Alex groaned. The old geezer thought he was Garet, which was good, but the bad part was that he would give him a lovely lecture on Alchemy…this would take hours. Kraden had already begun his lecture.

"Alchemy started a loooooooonnnnnggggg time ago…" Kraden began, and Alex fainted in his boredom.

He never noticed Isaac push the boulder aside and walk on in.

"Garet, get up! Kraden stop talking already!" he yelled, and Alex bounced up. Kraden muttered something about: "Children these days are always unwilling to learn…"

Ivan suddenly came rushing through the path and pushed Isaac away.

"Isaac, let me handle this, I know much more than you do." He quickly said and frog-marched Isaac back to his messed up house.

When he returned, Alex was on the floor again writhing around in pain of listening to the terrible lecture on Alchemy.

"Get up Alex, I know it's you." Ivan glared angrily at Alex, who glared up at him.

"Make the old man stop first, then let's talk this out." Alex groaned, and plugged his ears.

Isaac sat on his destroyed front yard. It was hard to see who would want to do this to his house…

Couldn't have been Garet. Definitely not Garet…couldn't have been Ivan, he doesn't know any fire type moves…and most definitely not Mia…perhaps it might have been Saturos and Menardi…Ivan said something about them coming…but isn't this a time of peace?

Isaac racked his brains for the correct answers, but there was no logical answer…

* * *

…But Meanwhile…

"But since you're Alex…doesn't that mean you switched places with Garet so then you would have to be stupid for the rest of the festival and Garet would have to be the cook? I saw you two switch spots, I swear, I saw it! And so where is Garet then?" Ivan bawled angrily at Alex. "Is he still cooking? That would be bad! You have to be the cook! Everyone will kill him, but not like I care, but then the whole festival would mess up! It's all your fault you idiot!"

Alex just groaned in pain. The Jupiter Adept had been pummeling Spark Plasmas all over the place, and not only blasting him up, but also Kraden, who kept on jumping for joy that he got to participate in a battle where he would instantly loose.

"Ugh…it's not my fault! Garet asked me to switch places with him so I could be stupid so then he could cook, and nobody would think he was stupid! So I thought it was the perfect time to take over the world as Garet so everyone would get mad at him if I messed up! But since I wanted to take over the world, Garet asked me if I got part of the Golden Sun if I could give him some so he could beat you up! There! And now since you know, I really need to find a way to get rid of you!" Alex blurted furiously, threw off his ugly disguise and then sent a bunch of ice shards on Ivan, who reflected the ice with a tornado.

Ivan cast Spark Plasma, and since Alex had been weakened by his earlier attacks, had trouble dodging the multiple blasts of lightning.

"Hmph! Take that you idiot!" Ivan snorted, and yelped when a barrage of water washed him away.

Alex began to laugh until he got a mouthful of grass that was blown off the ground. The two faced off, Ivan being shorter had to stare at Alex's chin and get breathed down on, which kept on blowing his hair.

"STOP BLOWING MY HAIR ALREADY!" Ivan squabbled, standing on his tiptoes to glare back.

"Well sheesh, at least I don't have to smell somebody's terrible smelling hair!" Alex whined.

Finally, Ivan pulled off his last resort and summoned Procne to blow him away. But unfortunately for him, his troubles had just begun. Suddenly another Alex came running over.

"Hey! You never told me about your evil twin! Wait…you're both evil right?" Ivan said uncertainly. One Alex began running off while the other sent an Inferno at him.

"Garet! So it was you!" Ivan screamed over the roaring of the fire and blew a path through with whirlwind, the fire and wind mixing up, setting a bit of the place on fire (define little…).

"Well it's not my fault that everyone called me an idiot!" Garet yelled back, and cast Pyroclasm, burning the ground Ivan had been standing on.

Ivan was sent burning like a rocket on the Fourth of July, but quickly cast a Wind Slash to counter. Which was a bad thing because he had just trimmed a bit of Garet's hair…that got very angry. The two fumed furiously and began casting multiple spells at each other until they decided it was time to face off one-on-one.

* * *

…Meanwhile, at the Potato Talent Show…

"Ahem…" Jenna spoke into a strange machine that made voices louder. "Whatever this thing is it on?"

There was yelling from the mob of people waiting for the show to start.

"Err…this year's talent show…is based on Potatoes…yes…so our first act is Sheba and the Doom Dragon…yes…that's it…"

Sheba: Look at the trees, look at the birds…AAAAAAAH! A Doom Dragon!

Picard: Roar! ROAAAAAAR! (Dressed up as Doom Dragon) FEAR ME!

Sheba: EEK! Ouch! It bit me!

Picard: Rawr. (Bites Sheba)

Sheba: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Picard! You weren't supposed to really bite me!

Picard: ROAR RAWR ROAR.

Sheba: Shut up.

Jenna: Somebody call 9-1-1!

Felix: …

Jenna: AHEM, SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!

Felix: WWWwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooowwwwWWWWWWWwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeewoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooo…

Jenna: Help! HELP!

Felix: Oh, the Doom Dragon's fine!

Jenna: No! Not the Doom Dragon, my friend!

Felix: Oh, you mean Picard?

Sheba: (Pretending to die, looks furiously at Felix for having to be so stupid)

Felix: (Looks down) OH! Oh, I'm sorry she's dead.

Jenna: YOU STUPID IDIOT! (Attacks Felix)

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Throw potatoes)

Picard: Now peoples, it's no good wasting perfectly good- (gets hit by multiple potatoes)-food.

Jenna: Err, sorry, but this year's Potato Talent Show has to be cut to a start due to…the unnecessary violence! (Curtains close)

"That sucked! I can't believe you actually had me do this!" Felix wailed. "Now my reputation has been trampled! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

* * *

A/N: Well, the last part of Alex the Superior Chef is almost here, just a bit longer though. Ivan and Garet will face off to see who will be the better Adept, and Alex will try to pull one last trick to take over Weyard…and not get attacked with potatoes while he's at it… Hope ya liked this Chappie! 


	7. Alex the Superior Chef Part 5

Chapter 7 - Alex the Superior Chef – Part V – Awkward Flirting

A/N: Hope ya like this next Chappie! I don't own golden sun either! Changed da chapter name too. Sorry!

Reviews!

Kipchickie: Thanks for the idea! I hope ya liked my last few chapters!

Trixie's Girl: Heh, thanks for reviewing! I hardly get many people these days because Golden Sun became a bit out of season…I really hope they'll really make Golden Sun III!

Someone: Well someone, that's my style! Pokes name If this doesn't explain my strange nature, then I guess there's nothing that will! AHAHAHAH! (Oh, I AM crazy!)

* * *

Jenna yanked away at Picard's costume, which had seemed to strangely plaster on him.

"Darn it! Doesn't this costume ever get off?" she screamed, and tugged again. Picard was moaning in pain inside.

Sheba and Felix were trying to escape from the crowd, which now, the people were pulling at their capes. Felix managed to push Sheba out of a person's grasp and then pretended to dramatically be washed away into the crowd of angry people.

"Noooooo! Felix!" Sheba wailed and started thrashing around, sniffled, then waddled miserably to Picard and attacked him for no good reason.

"Oh Sheba, stop being so melodramatic. Felix does it all the time. It's only because he wants attention." She groaned, and pulled Sheba away from a wincing Picard. Sheba only sniffed and began pounding Jenna. "But then where is he?" she whimpered, and then began to bawl again. "Come to think of it, where is he?"

Felix grinned smugly, allowing the crowd's angry tides to wash him away. Sheba would probably want to run over and smooch him once he got back. Too bad that wasn't what he got when he returned pretending to be all bruised. In fact…

"YOU IDIOT! YOU NEARLY GOT YOURSELF KILLED IN A CROWD OF ANGRY PEOPLE! YOU…YOU'RE SO DENSE! WHAT IS IN THAT HEAD OF YOURS, A PEA?" Sheba wailed, and tackled him.

"Aaaah, she is using a great form of love: tough love…" Felix gushed; puckering his lips and began edging towards Sheba, who threw him back, revolted.

"I AM NOT GOING TO KISS THE LIPS OF A FILTHY IDIOT WHO WANTS ME TO THINK HE'S DEAD! YOU'RE SO IMMATURE! YOU IDIOT YOU IDIOT! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" she screamed, and stalked off in a huff.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SHEBA MY LOVELY! RETURN MY IMBRACE!" Felix squealed and hugged his sister.

"Ok. No more potatoes for him. Just no more." Jenna groaned, and began walking off, dragging her brother along the way.

Meanwhile…

Sheba wandered around Vale, hoping she wouldn't bump into Felix or Ivan, who always got clumsier when she was around. In fact, she didn't want to see anyone at all. Too bad she saw Mia, who was being loved by…

"Garet?" Sheba gawked. 'Garet' glared at her. "Blue eyes?" 'Garret' began making frantic motions for her to shut up. "And…A WIG? GARET WEARS A WIG AND CONTACTS?" 'Garet' quickly shoved Mia into a bush and gave her a quick smooch, which Sheba quickly covered her eyes in time, then 'Garet' sent…

"GLACIER? Garet, you never told me you were a Mercury Adept!" she screamed, while dodging the shards of ice that flew down like multiple needles.

Then, she discovered the truth! THE TRUTH. "You aren't Garet, you're Alex! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ALEX IS ACTUALLY GARET! GARET IS EVIL!" she screamed, and then went dashing off as fast as possible. "Hey! What's wrong with me pretending to be Garet!" Alex squawked, and Mia suddenly got out of the bush and noticed a tint of blue hair.

"Garet! You never told me you were actually Alex! Oh, now I love you even more!" she squealed, her eyes now shining.

"Hehehe, finally she loves me. He-hey! What are you doing?"

* * *

Sheba pouted, as she was hopelessly lost. She looked at a tall cliff looming over her and noticed Isaac's house…it was demolished. In fact a third of the house was demolished. She saw a stone staircase winding upwards, but there probably wasn't much of interest up there. Except for the fact that Isaac's house was destroyed. Truth be told, it was kind of funny…and then, unexpectedly, a rock came tumbling from above, nearly missing her head. She looked at the rock. It was lumpy and slightly soft…and…she poked it and saw a small little crease. She pulled at it, and the brown layer peeled off to reveal…

"Potatoes? Ok…who in the right mind would throw potatoes…Aaaah; it must be 'Alex the SUPERIOR' chef cooking something good up there…" she headed up the stairs and saw Alex burning up potatoes.

"Wow Alex!" Sheba started. "When did you learn fire psyenergy?"

'Alex' turned around sharply. Sheba seemed to already have forgotten her incident with the 'Garret-Alex'.

"Red eyes? Alex has red eyes? Ooh, must be new contacts…lemme have a look-see!" she squealed, and scrambled up to Alex. "Wow! You wear a wig?" she added, poking around at 'Alex's' hair. "Red hair and red eyes? Must be the new trend."

'Alex' groaned and pushed her off.

"Errr…you must not bother my grand expertise, otherwise…erm…erm…I'll…burn you to smithereens?" 'Alex' muttered reluctantly.

"OH! YOU WILL?" Sheba gushed. "I LOVE A MAN WHO WANTS TO BURN A LADY INTO SMITHEREENS!"

'Alex' yelled and began to run off. Sheba followed after. A couple seconds later, 'Alex' was pinned to the ground by a gushy Sheba.

"OH ALEX! I NEVER KNEW HOW LOVELY YOU COULD BE!" she wheedled on and on. 'Alex' struggled to use some psyenergy, but only ended up sending his fireballs at Isaac's house. Again. Now Isaac's house was almost demolished. In fact, most of it was rubble.

Suddenly, 'Alex's' hair fell off. "Wow Alex, you can shed your hair and turn it red? And you can get a new hair-do?" Garet's face turned red and he pushed Sheba off, but Sheba ended up scrambling back.

"You're much cooler than that Felix, who is such a melodramatic idiot!" she squealed. Garet groaned and attempted to shove the smaller girl off. This was much more harder than he thought. "Get off me you parasite." Garet grunted as he tried to heave her off, but she continued to follow him around even after he pushed her off and began running off as fast as possible. "Come back deary!" Sheba wailed as she suddenly saw Garet speeding off.

_Has she gone insane? This is weird…usually I'm the stupid insane one…but Sheba? I thought she liked Felix. _Garet thought, turning his head back to see Sheba, who was obviously faster on her feet, was now gaining on him. Seconds later, he was pinned to the wall, which looked strange because Garet was much taller than she was. "Shoo! Go off and find that Felix you like so much!" Garet wailed. Sheba's face turned into a pout. "Hmph! You don't know anything about Felix!" she huffed furiously, and pressed a bit harder.

"Uh…actually, I do. He lives in Vale too. Duh, even I knew that." He groaned, obviously amused slightly by Sheba's density.

Sheba let him go reluctantly, after thinking over what she might be able to make him do. "Hmm, so you know where he lives eh? Well then…" a small grin formed on her lips.

Meanwhile…

Saturos was sitting on a bench near Menardi, who was suddenly acting all kiddish again. She was bouncing around squealing about how she loved listening to music. Saturos already had suffered enough of their singing and had attempted to pull his sister out of the A.H.H's trance.

"No bwothwer, iw whuant twew wisten!" she blubbered as Saturos began to pull her away. The A.H.H. waved cheerfully as they left, telling them to come to their music video live at some place called Hollywood, whatever that was…sounded like something Tret Tree would be in love with…a holy wood…this was a pathetic excuse for a welcoming committee.

"Brother! How could we have left? They were wonderful!" Menardi continued, tears washing down like waterfalls down her face.

Saturos sighed and turned around to face his sister. _Well, here goes nothing…_ Saturos fumed loudly and dark storm clouds slowly surrounded him. Thunder and lightning clashed in the background as Saturos loomed over his sister, who squeaked in shock.

"BECAUSE. I. DIDN'T. LIKE. ANYTHING. ABOUT. THEM!" he boomed, and Menardi was sent tumbling over. "Hey, I didn't know taking classes in conjuring things really would work!"

Menardi's lower lip began to tremble.

"B-b-but…S-S-Saturos…HOW COULD YOU?" she wailed, and tears flowed freely out of her eyes as she scrambled up the stone steps franticly, trying to escape her mad brother (as in crazy). When she was out of view, Saturos threw a wad of confetti in the air and used his Psyenergy to summon 'La Cucaracha' in which a whole bunch of 'La Cucaracha' people out of nowhere, who began singing 'La Cucaracha' at the top of their lungs to celebrate Saturos and his great success in chasing his sister off.

* * *

"Oh Garet, isn't love such a great thing?" Sheba sniffled, wiping a tear of joy off her eye. Garet had led her to Felix's house, and they began…er…umm…doing…stuff to it. It had something that had to do with the hay on his house and Garet's psyenergy. Several seconds later, Felix's house was ablaze and the two were scampering off as fast as possible. Garet made up an excuse that 'he was off to buy something and it might take a while to get' and left, leaving a mushy Sheba on his roof so she 'wouldn't get in any trouble'. Garet glanced around nervously, hoping nobody would find him. He began walking to find Alex and tell him that this idea was much to crazy, especially since Sheba had now fallen in love with him. But when he turned the corner where Alex had told him to meet him, he met face to face with nothing except for that he walked into a small pole that went up to his chest.

"Oof." The pole grunted.

"YAH! NIGHT OF THE LIVING POLES!" Garet screamed and then after jumping backwards, he looked down and saw a frowning Ivan glaring up at him.

"I just want to ask you this one question." Ivan eyed Garet. "What did you do to Isaac's house?"

"Oh easy! I burned it on accident while we were fighting!" Garet grinned as if he had just done something heroic. Ivan gave a loud sigh of annoyance. "Ok…try to be more specific." Ivan heaved, obviously not amused by how stupid Garet could get. "Hmm…I…used Inferno on it?" Garet suggested. Ivan slapped his forehead. "HOW DENSE COULD YOU GET? WHAT I MEAN BY 'SPECIFIC' IS WHY DID YOU DO IT?" his response was a dull noise that stupid people make when they don't have an answer. Finally, Garet came up with: "Umm…because Alex and I switched places because…umm…what did we do it for again? Oh…err…I think…hmm…I think he said that he would trade his doughnuts for my position to take over the world, so I think that was it…"

"YOU MEAN FOR A DOUGHNUT, YOU ALLOWED ALEX TO USURP YOUR POSITION AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD AS YOU?" Ivan screeched, turning strangely purple as he ran out of oxygen as he screamed.

"Umm…actually, it was two doughnuts, and he is not usurping my position so he can take over the world as me, whatever 'usurps' means." Garet said dully. "And he was telling me that he was going to pretend to be me first, then he would take over the world as me unless someone bothers him, and while I'm cooking, he's running around trying to wreck havoc."

_Out of all the people in the world that Alex chose to switch places with, he chooses Captain Stupid. _Ivan thought as he saw Garet 'accidentally' light himself on fire.

"Well I'm sure Alex will find a way to take over the world." Garet added as if it was a regular topic to be talked about every day.

"And it isn't working." Isaac popped up out of nowhere suddenly.

* * *

A/N: …FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT'S WONDERFUL, REVIEW ALREADY, DON'T JUST LEAVE ME HANGING! I NEED THE ENCOURAGEMENT! 


	8. The Murdering of the Characters!

Chapter 8 – The Murdering of the Characters!

A/N: I don't own Golden Sun… Well, when I'm done with this story, I'll have more time to do Bit of Summer Blues. For all of you who like that story, then good for you. (Do I sound rude? SORRY!)

* * *

Ivan reacted first by giving a great bounce backwards. A bad idea. He crashed into Garet, who was sent into a cliff. Isaac looked over the heap of Ivan, Garet, and some rubble with disdain. 

"Hey…" Garet mumbled in a state of stillness and pain. "What was that for, Ivan?"

Ivan struggled to get off Garet and push off the rubble. Garet pushed off Ivan and rubble. Ivan bounced up effortlessly, and then amusedly turned to Garet, who was struggling to bounce up just as easily as he had. Garet turned his head towards Ivan and pouted. Isaac watched without making a move to help.

"Well…I was spying on Alex. His behavior is what one can call…abnormal?" Isaac stated, and then turned around to face Garet. "You burned down part of my house." He said simply, made a face, and then turned back to Ivan. "And then he found me spying and he quickly ran off screaming like a madman. Before he saw me though, he was talking to a 'enchanted' Mia about that the time is right to take over the world." He glared suspiciously at Garet, who was looking at a butterfly. Isaac's eyes hardened slightly, annoyed that his 'friend' who had burned part of his house down would not pay attention to what he was saying. Ivan, on the other hand sniggered. Isaac groaned in scorn, and left the two.

(Behind the Scenes…)

All of a sudden, the author gets a random idea to fizzle everyone! Of course, starting with my LEAST favorite characters. Looks down list (Texas accent) Well, it looks like ya'll in for some bad luck! EVERYONE IS ON MY LEAST FAVORITE LIST! Not. It starts with Alex, the stuck up snooty fool who manipulates and is stupid. Sorry Alex fans, I just think he's ugly. Well, I just snuck over to see where Alex was, and whadya know? He was bribing Mia again! Well, it was time for my act. So lets just say with my amazing author powers…

(Front Stage Scene)

Mia was once again, trapped under Alex's 'lovely' trance. Alex looked pleased. That is, until a weird gigantic shiny thingy appeared out of nowhere.

"What the?" Alex started, glaring at the shininess that was now drawing Mia away from him. "Ok, no more Mr. Nice Guy, Mia is MINE." He snarled, and attempted a Glacier. Too bad it didn't work. He swore silently to himself, then attempted to freeze whatever it was where it stood. He only managed to freeze the bottom of its feet, which then suddenly set on fire and melted the ice.

"Your relationship with Mia is nevermore!" a familiar voice screeched over an intercom, which was strange because they didn't exist in this time. Alex's face almost turned white.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AUTHOR POWERS!" Alex screamed. "WHY! WHY! WHY DOES ISAAC GET THE WEIRD MACHINY THINGY?"

Isaac grinned from inside the cockpit of the machine.

"IT'S TIME FOR REVENGE!" he yowled and began stomping all over Alex.

Mia began drooling and her eyes became slightly crossed as she wobbled around, obviously in love with the shininess of the object that was now crushing Alex.

(Behind the Scenes)

Well, I guess trading Isaac a machine for his money worked. He thought that gold pieces were nothing so he gave some to me; and then I bought this extra expensive machine and gave it to him. He was pleased when I told him about its missile-firing action and atomic bombs (which I told him could easily destroy Alex) or he could do it the old fashioned way. He was so happy he gave me some more money. Now, who's next on the list? Sorry once again, but I really despise how Felix looks…really. He…just doesn't have a great expression in the game. In fact, I THINK HE'S TERRIBLY UGLY!

* * *

(Front Stage Scene) 

Felix was still in the crowd of people being washed around.

"Hey, this is kind of fun…" Felix mumbled, half asleep. He didn't notice that a certain somebody was hovering over him on a Meowth hot air balloon.

"Prepare for trouble!" a voice called from above (on once again, an intercom).

Felix shook himself awake.

"And…err…what's my next lines?" Another voice muttered.

Felix looked upwards and saw the Team Rocket hot air balloon. "What the shoe?" Felix grunted, shifting his weight around.

A/N: What the Shoe comes from a quote from the Ruff at school. You see my teacher owns a stapler that looks like a shoe, so I said, "Look, a stapler that looks like a shoe!" and he said "What the shoe?" thus, where this quote comes from. I do not know why I put it in. Why not 'What the hot air balloon?'

"It's make it double."

"Oh. Okay! It's make it double!" the voice piped up.

A sigh was heard over the intercom, which sounded like crackling fire.

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite – wait, to protect the world from devastation? Who came up with such stupid lines?"

"Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing? JUST SAY YOUR LINES! Otherwise, I won't love you anymore!"

"Well good riddance…" a loud slap was then heard.

"To unite all people within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love? What the-" another bonk was heard.

"Are we doing this wrong? Ah well…to extend our reach to the stars above…this is so stupid-" this time, a crash was heard.

"Sheba!"

"…"

"Garet, say your lines!"

"…But it sound so stupid…"

"Well that's what you are!"

"I am NOT! Those lines ARE stupid! I won't say it!"

"Fine! What's your name?"

"Garet. Duh."

"There! Now we can destroy Felix together and we can love each other FOREVER!" Sheba gushed, while Garet regretted saying his name.

Sheba brought out a weird glove machine (you know, the red glove and the extendable hand) and grabbed Felix and began shaking him up and down.

"Come my machine of love, attack him!" Sheba squealed, and began pushing Garet to crawl down the extending arm and tackle Felix.

"Machine of LOVE? Since when have I became your 'Machine of Love?'" Garet whined and began crawling down. Several seconds later, Felix was burnt and Garet was being smothered by Sheba. Felix crumbled into ashes and never was seen again (in this chapter only though).

(Behind the Scenes)

Gyah hwa haaa! I'm so GIDDY! I'm da GIDDY GUY! Oh well, do not bother with my hyperness…Hehehe, who's on my list! Oh, too bad! Garet is! Those who like Garet are in luck…Hehehe…

* * *

(Front Stage Scenes) 

Garet was being squashed by Sheba who was still in love strangely.

"Err…are you sure you don't want me to get a potato for you?" Garet suggested, hoping he could escape from Sheba.

Sheba's eyes just got shinier.

"Oh Garet, the only thing I want to do is spend more time with you…" she said, a dreamy look filling her eyes.

"Wouldn't you rather have someone that is of your own element?" Garet began slowly, and Sheba glared furiously at him.

"No way! I'm not getting near IVAN! He's stupid!" Sheba wailed furiously. "I'll never get near him!"

Garet sighed in disappointment. He was hoping that Sheba would leave him alone.

"Umm… I have to go somewhere, could you wait here?" he quickly said and slipped off, perhaps a bit to triumphant in thinking that he had escaped Sheba's grasp. One of his legs felt slightly heavier, and when he looked down, he saw that Sheba was stuck on his shoe. "Get off my shoe." Garet attempted to take off his shoe, but as soon as that was done, Sheba had shoved it back on and continued to cling to his shoe. A discontent whine was his answer. "GET. OFF. NOW." Garet screamed and shook his foot frantically like a small girl trying to get a bug off her pants.

"NEVER!"

"YES!"

"NEVER!"

And as if it had been planned all this time (hint-hint ME in the backstage…Hehehe), Sheba exploded, exploding Garet along with her.

(Behind the Scenes)

AHAHAHA! My ROBO SHEBA100 HAS DESTROYED GARET! And now it is up to you to decide who I want to revive…or maybe not.

* * *

A/N: Well, if ya review, then maybe I will have an idea if I am going to 'revive' someone. Hehehe… I LIVEEE! 

Please Read and Review! It will help me VELLY much.


	9. Intermission 1

Intermission 1 – Garet, the Murderer at Heart

A/N: Waa, my head is about to burst from waiting for peoples opinions…so here is the Intermissions so the characters won't explode of boredom! I DON'T OWN GOLDEN SUN, AND YOU ALREADY ALL KNOW IT! (Let's say that again, LOUD AND PROUD!)

**I DON'T OWN GOLDEN SUN AND OR GOLDEN SUN TWO!**

* * *

Isaac: I'm real bored…

Ivan: Bored.

Mia: Bored…

Garet: Pickles are yummy.

Isaac: Bored.

Ivan: Bored.

Mia: Bored.

Garet: PICKLESAREYUMMY!

Felix: I hate you.

Jenna: Felix! That was a rude thing to say to Isaac!

Felix: …

Isaac: …

Felix: …

Isaac: …

Garet: POTATOES ARE BETTER THAN YOU!

Felix and Isaac: (turn around and glare at Garet)

Garet: …

Ivan: Hey! You can't do that Garet, only Felix and Isaac are allowed to do the dots!

Garet: What? Is it illegal? (Puts on triumphant face)

Isaac: …

Garet: …

Felix: …

Babi: I'M BORED!

Piers: YOU! (Tackles Babi) YOU STOLE THAT LEMURIAN SHIP AND NOW YOU SHALL PAY!

Babi: Never!

(Piers and Babi begin to punch each other, until Piers gets angry and freezes Babi to the spot)

Babi: Hey! No fair using Psyenergy!

Piers: Serves you right! I should toss you into the ocean or something…

Garet: INTO A VOLCANO! MAUAUHAUH! (Looms above Babi and cracks knuckles)

Piers: Didn't the author kill you?

Garet: NO! I LIVE! But Felix is dead. I KILLED HIM WITH MY RAW SKILL! MAUHAUHAU! (Thunder and Lightning in background) So can I kill him?

Babi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Piers: YES!

Saturos:)

Garet: WHOA! I WANNA LEARN HOW TO MAKE SMILEY FACES!

Saturos:

Piers: SATUROS STOP DISTRACTING GARET FROM HIS DESTINY! (Pushes Garet towards Babisicle)

Saturos:(

Garet: No fair! You just made my future mentor cry! (Tries to attack Piers, but fails when Piers turns him into a Garetsicle) What? That's not fair!

Piers: I AM YOUR FUTURE MENTOR! MAUAHA!

Garet: NEVER!

Kraden: I AM YOUR FATHER!

Garet: NOOOOOOOOO! I MUST NOT GIVE IN TO THE DARK SIDE! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Kraden: If you do, you get this cool outfit!

Garet: Yay! I WANNA JOIN THE DARK SIDE!

Piers: NOOO! COME WITH ME! I SHALL TEACH YOU THE ANCIENT ART OF…OF…BEATING…UP PEOPLE! AND YOU SHALL BECOME THE GREATEST CONQUERER, BETTER THAN GENGHIS KHAN!

Garet: Who is Ginger Kong?

Piers: …JUST JOIN ME AND YOU CAN BEAT UP EVERYONE YOU WANT!

Garet: Really?

Piers: START WITH BABI NOW!

Babi: EEP!

Garet: AHAHAH! (Uses Pyroclasm and Babi dies)

Babi: Yargh I'm DYING!

Garet: YAHAHA! I AM SO EVIL! (Stomps on Babi's ashes)

Piers: Yes…YES MY EVIL MINION OF DOOM, DESTROYDESTROYDESTROY! AHAHAH!

Garet: …Now what?

(After several hours of multiple murdering…)

Alex: MAUAHAU! I STILL LIVE BECAUSE ISAAC STOMPED ON A DIRT-PUPPET THAT LOOKED LIKE ME! MAUAHA!

Piers: SEARCH AND DESTROY EVERY ALEX HERE!

Garet: I SHALL OBEY MY MASTER! (Begins running around like a zombie, spots Alex, and pummels him)

Alex: NOOOOOOOOOOO! I NEED REVENGE! REVENGE!

Garet: DIE. DIE. DIE. (Kills a whole bunch of other people named Alex that I don't even know)

Piers: NOW GO MURDER EVERY BABI-SUPPORTER THERE IS!

Garet: (Begins to punch himself)

Piers: You are no longer a Babi-Supporter. Go kill all of his most faithful guards! AHAHA!

* * *

Announcer: Since this is only a Mini-Intermission, then the story shall continue until a certain amount of reviews is seen (maybe 10-30, I need opinions on who I should revive). Thus the rest of the time shall be random intermission until the reviewing is finished! 


	10. Intermission 2

Intermission 2 – The DjinnFest

A/N: Who doesn't love cute little Djinn? Well…if you don't…then I SHALL SEND GARET AFTER YOU!

Piers: Hey! I'm the master here!

Garet: Woof. Crazy-But-Fun does not own Golden Sun, Frosted Flakes, picket signs, cream cheese, and fish heads, but she does own U Moo and all other Moo Products!

* * *

Flint: THIS CHAPPIE…Drum rolls please.

Fizz: DRUM ROLL! (Tadadadadada…)

Flint: THIS CHAPPIE IS DEDICATED TO THE ONE AND ONLY…

Fizz: (Fierce drum roll)

Flint: MEEEEEEEE!

All Djinn: Hey! I thought we had a deal! (Angry Mob!)

Flint: …Hehehe… I meant, US DJINN!

A/N: WHOM SHOULD I REVIVE?

Flint: OOH! MEEEEEEEE!

A/N: I MEANT, SHOULD I REVIVE ALEX, FELIX, OR GARET?

Alex: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I WANNA LIVEEEEEEE! MAAHAHA!

Unknown Person: (Looming over Djinn)

Flint: EEP!

All Djinn: Its…ITS…

Flint: YAAAAAUGH!

All Djinn: IT'S THE MOST UGLY GIRL ON EARTH! SHEBA!

Flint: No way! It has to be Babi!

Garet: MAUAHA! I KILLED BABI!

All Djinn: EEK! IT'S THE UGLY SHEBA THEN!

Sheba: Hey! I'm not ugly! Who just said I was ugly?

Flint: They did! (Points accusingly at other Djinn)

Corona: Hey! That isn't funny! It's only obvious that LUFF did it. (Points accusingly at Luff, who is busily sniffing a flower)

Luff: I didn't say it! Fever did!

Fever: Hey! Sour did it!

Sour: (Puts on a sour face and pouts)

Echo: (Puts on a sour face and pouts)

Sour: Stop copying me!

Echo: Stop copying me!

Sour: Bleh!

Echo: BLEH!

Sour: Echo is stupid.

Echo: Echo is stupid

Sheba: SHUT UP!

All Djinn: (Shriek in fright)

Ivan: AH! SHEBA MY LOVELY!

Sheba: EEEEEEEEK! (Goes scrambling for Garet)

Ivan: Come back Sheba!

Garet: YAAAH! GET HER AWAY!

Ivan: No fair! Why does Garet get MY GIRL? (Tackles Garet's head)

Garet: (Just lost his last brain cell) (Silence, and some crickets)

Ivan and Sheba: …

Garet: …

Isaac: HAHAHA! I HAVE RETURNED! I HAVE DESTROYED THE CURSE OF THE DOT-DOT-DOTS! I CAN SPEAK AGAIN AND YOU GUYS CAN'T! MUAHAHAHAHAH! (Clashing of thunder of lightning in background)

Garet: …

Isaac: NOOOOOOOOOO! I FEARED THIS DAY WOULD COME! GARET HAS LOST HIS LAST BRAIN CELL!

Ivan: That's bad because?

Sheba: …NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GARET I LOVE YOU!

Babi: I LIVE!

Sheba: EEEEK!

Piers: GO MY EVIL MINION OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Garet: (Turns around and burns Babi)

Ivan: Darn it, I was hoping he would be stuck stupid like this forever and we could leave him behind while we went off killing monsters because he couldn't use his Psyenergy…

Garet: (Strangles Ivan)

Ivan: ARGH!

Isaac: Wait, Ivan, you're already dead. You can't say 'ARGH!'

Fizz: (Begins to fizz for no particular reason) Fizzzzzzzzzz…

Ivan: Is it against the law?

Garet: I hate picket signs! They can pick Ivan's nose and they are part of an unbalanced breakfast! Frosted Flakes are more than bad! THEY'RE DELICIOUS!

Ivan: …

Piers: I gave him some fish heads and a bucket of cream cheese!

Garet: FISH HEADS FISH HEADS ROLY POLY FISH HEADS! (Begins bouncing up and down, then falls on the floor twitching)

Piers: GET THE LATEST DVD FROM U MOO!

Random voice: Hey! Don't steal U Moo! That's MY product!

Piers: ATTACK GARET!

Garet: (Kills Random Voice)

Author: Hey! You just killed me! You just won the jackpot of ten trillion dollars! Cha-CHING! You got the MOOLA!

Ivan: See? Even the AUTHOR gets to speak while getting killed!

Isaac: … (Thinks: OH NO! I JUST LOST MY SPEECH POWERS! OO)

Flint: Halloo? This chapter is dedicated to ME, not the characters! (Gets angry and begins pouting) Hey! Where have all my brothers and sisters gone?

Meanwhile…

Other Djinn: PAR-TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Meanwhile…

Flint: …GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY WEAKLINGS!

Garet: Here you go have a bucket and some cream cheese.

Flint: THAT WASN'T WHAT I MEANT.

Piers: Then what are you talking about, dear Flint? KILL HIM!

Garet: (Murders Flint and begins eating him)

Piers: Not what I meant.

Garet: What did you mean then?

Isaac: (Uses revive on his toe)

Flint: REVIVE ME YOU IDIOT!

Ivan: Mia uses Ply on Flint, but nothing happens!

Flint: Hey! So YOU WERE THE ONE!

Ivan: Isaac uses Revive on a daisy!

* * *

A/N: AHEM! IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I WILL CONTINUE DOING RANDOM THINGS UNTIL SOMEONE GETS REVIVED. SO REVIEW NOW! DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN! 


	11. Intermission 3

Intermission 3 – Cooking for Dummies!

I don't own Golden Sun!

* * *

Alex: ARGH! HELP! ANYONE! (Being dragged by potatoes) NOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO BE TURNED INTO POTATO SALAD! I WANNA COOK AGAIN!

Potatoes: (Vanish)

Alex: MAUAHAHAHHAHA! NOW I SHALL DESRTOY (Potatoes reappear) – I MEAN I SHALL COOK! MAUAHAHHAHA!

(Thunder and Lightning)

Meanwhile…

Isaac: Why isn't anyone reviewing?

Ivan: …Hopefully Alex won't be revived.

Garet: Hey, but I'm ALIVE. Shouldn't Felix and Alex both be alive?

Alex: I LIVE! MUAHAHAH!

Felix: Hey! No fair stealing MY lines! I LIVE! MUAHAHAH!

Alex: Fine! I LIVE EVEN MORE! MUAHAHAHAH!

Garet: MUAHAHAHAH! I AM THE MURDERER GARET! I LIVE AND I KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! (Begins beating up Felix and Alex)

Alex: NOOOOOOOO! I JUST WANT MY JOB BACK!

Felix: Liar-

Alex: (Knocks Felix out, then puts on cute eyes) I want to cook!

Mia: WHO COULDN'T RESIST THAT? OF COURSE YOU CAN HAVE YOUR JOB BACK! Now cook.

Several minutes later…

THE TASTE TESTING TIME!

Today our Judges are…

Isaac, Garet, Ivan, Mia…

Felix: Hey! Why are you choosing everyone beside MY team?

Fezhi, Master Hammet…

Ivan: I LOVE YOU MASTER HAMMET!

Master Hammet: …I wish he would shut up…

Ivan: OK MASTER HAMMET I'LL SHUT UP!

Master Hammet: JUST…JUST BE QUIET!

Ivan: OK MASTER HAMMET, I'LL JUST…JUST BE QUIET!

Master Hama, Dora, Kyle…

Ivan: OH MY GAWD, YOU INVITED DORA THE EXPLORER?

Dora: Shut up Ivan!

Kyle: Now Dora, don't go crazy…

Dora: (Slaps Kyle)

And our most favorite character!

THE PROXIAN ELDER!

Proxian Elder: (Coughs several times and doubles over in a heap)

Our first meal is the Appetizers!

Alex: (Brings in a small potato drizzled with a bit of cheese)

Isaac: …

Garet: CHEEESE!

Ivan: Blech…I hate cheese.

Mia: ANYTHING TO DO WITH ALEX OR MADE BY HIM I LOVE!

Fezhi: …It tastes like Master Hama's socks. Yum.

Master Hama: YOU ATE MY SOCKS?

Audience: Gasp.

Master Hammet: It tastes like Ivan. But I LIKE IT!

Ivan: YOU CANNIBAL!

Master Hama: It tastes like Garet's hair.

Isaac: WOW! YOU ATE GARET'S HAIR AND DIDN'T DIE FROM THE TOXICNESS!

Dora: It tastes like Boots from Dora the Explorer…(smiles evilly)

Ivan: SEE? I TOLD YOU THAT THE AUTHOR INVITED DORA THE EXPLORER!

Dora: (Splats potato on Ivan's face)

Kyle: …

Proxian Elder: (Coughs and dies)

Our next meal is the main course!

Alex: (Brings in a huge potato salad)

Isaac: …I hate veggies…

Dora: Isaac you BAD BOY! (Spanks Isaac)

Isaac: OW! I mean, IT TASTES GREAT!

Garet: SALAD!

Ivan: Veggies promote good health!

Mia: …I LOVE IT! (Not)

Fezhi: It tastes like Master Hama's slippers…

Master Hama: YOU SLOBBERED OVER MY SLIPPERS?

Audience: Laugh

Master Hammet: It tastes like Ivan.

Ivan: MASTER HAMMET! HOW COULD YOU?

Audience: Gasp!

Random Person in Audience: Hahaha…ha?

Master Hama: It tastes like Garet's shoes.

Garet: Hey! One of my shoes are missing!

Dora: It tastes like SWIPER NO SWIPING!

Ivan: See? SEE-

Dora: (Punches Ivan)

Kyle: It tastes like my old sweaty gym socks.

Proxian Elder: (Faints and turns purple with orange polka-dots)

And now for dessert!

Alex: Brings in Potato Ice Cream

Isaac: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THE HORROR!

Garet: POTATO ICE CREAM!

Ivan: Not bad.

Mia: OF COURSE I LOVE IT! (Not again)

Fezhi: All the BETTER TO EAT UP MASTER HAMA, MY DEAR.

Master Hammet: Wow, this REALLY does taste like Ivan!

Ivan: EEEEK! (Runs off)

Master Hama: It tastes like Garet.

(Garet has vanished and Master Hama's dish of ice cream is still there…dundundun!)

Dora: It tastes like Master Hama this time…strange.

(Master Hama is also gone, but Dora's dish of ice cream still remains…)

Kyle: It tastes terrible. Really.

Proxian Elder: (Has turned into ashes and has vanished completely)

Now it is time to add up appeal points!

Appeal Points:

5 points for the first round…

6 points for the second round…

4 points for the last round…

Totaled up 15 points out of 30! It's a fifty-fifty total! So come back on the next episode of COOKING FOR DUMMIES!

* * *

A/N: Well, please review…I'm running out ideas. 


	12. Chapter 9 – The Truth, Then Potatoes

Chapter 9 – FIRST the TRUTH. And Then We Get Back to Potatoes!

A/N: Finally I can start thinking strainnt. I mean, STRAIGHT!

Ivan: No you can't

A/N: Yes I CAN.

Ivan: Loser.

A/N: SHUT UP!

Ivan: Never.

A/N: Leaves

And so, the story continues!

A/N: HEY THERE! WE'RE GONNA FILL UP THE BLANKS!

"Alas, Alex is dead." Isaac posed and began to sing dramatic music. "And thus, Garet and Felix are alive…but…THERE IS THE CATCH!"

Mia snorted. "There IS a catch."

"Whatever. ALEX SHALL PAY FOR HIS MISERY BY BEING…THE WISE GUY'S SLAVE…" Isaac continued just to receive another cough from Mia.

"Alex shall pay for his life by being the Wise One's slave for life."

MEANWHILE…

"Can't I just be alive or something? Cause this place reeks of something smelly." Alex wailed as he shoveled strange white papers through the air that had a sickening smell.

"NO!" The Wise One screamed, which was strange because he/she didn't have a mouth.

"That _IS_ strange. You don't have a mouth, how can you scream?" Alex pouted as he tossed another white paper through the air.

"Ah, because I am the WISE ONE! MUHAHAHAHAAAA!"

"See! You did it again!" Alex protested.

"Nuh-uh."

"Yuh-huh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yuh-huh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yuh-huh."

"Yuh-huh"

"Nuh-uh-wait…ARGH! You're CONFUSING ME!"

"Fortune cookie says: Confucius says: Show off always shown up in show down." The Wise One quoted from the fortune cookie he was eating.

"BZZZT! CONFUSION!" Alex yelled and began whacking his head on the papers, which seemed to be squishy. "Squishy? Oh…oh no…IT CAN'T BE!"

_Alas, the Wise One never told anyone he was actually part-time babysitter for three children…thus, using this explanation… _

"THEY WERE DIAPERS?"

MEANWHILE, GARET AND FELIX WERE ENJOYING LIVING…

"DIE FELIX I HATE YOU!"

"DIE GARET YOU IDIOT!"

I MEAN, MEANWHILE, GARET AND FELIX WANTED TO KILL EACH OTHER…

_"Oh Felix, you're so nice." _

_"Thank you for letting me borrow your 'My Little Pony' stationary…" _

UH…

"You know what? DIE FELIX! THE WORLD WOULD DO BETTER WITHOUT YOUR UGLY FACE ON THE PLANET!"

"YOU DIE FIRST! THE WORLD WOULD BE LESS STUPID WITOUT YOU!"

"Hey guys, what's up?" Piers squealed cheerfully and waltzed up in the path of the two rampaging people. "Uh…what's up? …AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…!"

Felix and Garet killed Piers. See? No violence there! No violence at all! No violence…yeah…and now for…

THE INSIDE STORY! WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO ALL THE POTATOES…

"What?" Saturos squawked. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_And thus, Saturos was dragged off to the Great Gabomba to be sent to prison…with the potatoes of DOOM!_

_DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! DOOOOOOOM! Uh…ya. Doom. _

AND WHAT_DID _HAPPEN TO THE AHH?

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Saturos screamed after he was locked up into the Great Gabomba's catacombs. "SOMEBODY SAVE ME! ANYBODY!"

Suddenly, Menardi climbed down the stairs.

"Hey Saturos, what'cha doing in that cage?"

"FORGET THE CAGE-HELP ME!" Saturos wailed and whacked his head on the bars.

"If you used your psynergy, you could be arrested for vandalism to property of the Great Gabomba. And using my Psyenergy would also count as vandalism if I accidentally burn something else as well" Menardi added. "Oh, and I brought some friends to help you…"

_And suddenly, the AHH climbed down the stairs and began to sing… _

And THUS, OF ADEPTS AND POTATOES BEGINS AGAIN! NO MORE INTERMISSIONS! GARET AND FELIX ARE ALIVE! ALEX IS DEAD, I THINK! BUT WILL THE TWO NEWLY REVIVED PEOPLE…WAIT…HOLD THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT…UH…I FORGOT…WHATEVER.

Chapter 9 ½ - Seotatop Dna Stpeda Fo

"What does Seotatop Dna Stpeda Fo mean?" Ivan squeaked. "And don't we need a new chef before the actual festival begins?"

"Yep…" Mia said quietly as she stared off into space. "ALEX!" she then wailed and flung herself to the floor dramatically.

"Did someone call?" a strange voice called from nearby.

"Huh? Who are you?" Mia looked up from the ground and saw some random weirdo she never knew.

"Uh…yah. Yepp. And who's Alex?" Yepp asked.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Mia screamed and aimed thousands of ice shards at the man, who ran off screaming.

"We still need a chef though." Ivan protested. "And that Yepp dude might have been a chef! And you had to chase him off-"

Mia loomed over Ivan. Ivan decided that he would agree with her instead of have her kill him.

_But alas, by the time the festival was due to actually begin and have the elder of Vale make a huge speech… _

"WHAT DO YOU MEANS THAT HE'S SICKED, BREAKING BOTH LEG, AND IS AT A FULL BODY CAST!" Isaac screamed. "ELDERS IS SMART, AIN'T NOT STUPIDO!"

Mia translated grumpily: "What do you mean that he's sick, broke both of his legs, and is in a full body cast! Elders are smart, they are not stupid!" Then she added with a grumpy sigh: "If we don't figure out what to do with the elder, we might end up having to cancel the whole entire festival…and I'll never see Alex again…"

"What does that have to do with the festival? Besides, The circumference of a circle is Pi times Radius squared. That's much more important." Garet said, suddenly ten times smarter than he was before. "What we need is a math whiz like MEH!"

"Why do we need a math whiz!" Mia sobbed. "I MUST LOVE ALEX AGAIN!"

"Hey…" said Piers out of nowhere. "You're cute, so let's go on a date!"

Mia froze and turned her head around slowly.

"NEVAAAAAAR!"

And then, a bunch of birds flew off into the sky from the forest as Mia whacked Piers.

…Meanwhile…the Adepts attempt to get a suitable cook…

"If you hire me…I will be able to whip up fifty squid pies in a minute! So? Huh? Are you going to hire me? Huh? Huh!" a boy bounced up and down, swinging around pies with…tentacles poking out of them.

Garet took one look at the tentacle of the squid poking out of the pie and dashed off screaming and…well…yes…

"If YOU hire MEH, I can make these de-lish seaweed and porcupine smoothies! Here! Have a try!" another person yelled.

Isaac's face turned green. And it wasn't because he was envious.

"If you hire me," a girl sang and waltzed in front of Ivan, "I will be able to cook some wonderful dishes!"

Ivan sniffed the air. It did smell good…until the girl landed a plate of squishy green rats on the table.

"AUGH!" Ivan screamed and accidentally sent a small burst of air out, which sent the plate flying onto Mia's face.

Mia began to fume. And fume. And her face turned red. Bright red. And smoke came out of her ears. And then she killed Ivan…well, kinda-sorta killed him.

After she had left Ivan twitching madly at his seat, Mia began to bawl loudly.

"THIS is why we need Alex back! He actually could cook!"

"Liar…" Garet mumbled and was doused with cold water.

"Urgh…" Isaac groaned and went over to console the sobbing Mia. "…Err…don't worry?" he tried, just to be frozen to the ground by ice.

"DON'T WORRY! HOW CAN I NOT WORRY? I HAVE…LOST…ME LOVE!"

"He was your love?" Garet snickered, and was frozen up like Isaac. "I take that back!" he franticly yelled, writhing around where he was frozen.

"No. I don't believe you." Mia muttered haughtily and turned her back on the two frozen boys. "Anyways, I'm going to find Alex, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"What about us!" Garet protested and then found himself forehead-deep in ice. However surprisingly, he could still breathe.

"Ha." Isaac said triumphantly as Mia began to leave, Garet still writhing about, and earned a sharp glare from his friend.

"Is this how you treat your childhood friend?" Garet erupted, face turning bright red. "I'd say I'm just your punching bag."

"That's rig-" Ivan began to yell just to be cut off by a frantic Isaac.

Isaac hissed into Ivan's ear: "Don't give him any clues!"

Ivan only grinned evilly and began to get a glint in his eye. Isaac began to feel uneasy. What was wrong with this kid? Isaac began to sweat. Ivan continued to grin. Isaac's sweating continued. Ivan's grinning was almost unbearable.

"AAAAGH! STOP! PLEAAAAAAASE!" Isaac wailed and fell on the floor, writhing about. Garet stared, wondering what was wrong with the two.

"Hey, you two, stop freaking out." A bored but calm voice that seemed to be on the edge of exploding floated into the air. They turned around to see Piers, twitching madly from the excitement of the attack of the 'Garet and Felix Barrage'.

"Whoa Piers, what's wrong with you?" Ivan laughed, and received a glare from Isaac to shut up.

"Eh…Piers looks freaked." Garet squealed.

"Garet shut up!" Ivan sang, obviously trying to usurp Isaac's position, but failing miserably when he received a whack from Pier's Mace Of Doom.

"See…that is why the wise Isaac chose not to speak at that time." Isaac said flatly at Ivan.

"Isaac is wise?" Garet said and then received a whack from Isaac's Gaia Blade, causing him to fall over onto the ground still frozen.

"Oi…" a familiar voice called. "I found the cook."

It was Felix. And ricocheting off of buildings, cliffs, and the ground, was a spastic looking Djinni. It stared at them before bouncing up in the air yelling loudly: "I LIVE!"

Then the poor Djinni fell to the ground with a splat, and then squishing back and making a happy squeal.

"I am the one and only CRAZY-BUT-FUN!" The Djinni announced proudly and made a huge show of bouncing about.

Everyone stared.

"But we never had a Djinni called 'Crazy-but-fun'…" Isaac mused. "Are you sure about this Felix?…Felix?"

He found Felix cooking in the Black Cauldron of Demise.

"Hey author!" Garet yelled. "Why are you labeling inanimate objects with weird titles?"

The Djinni frowned. "Because I feel like it so. You're a pain, garbage brain."

"Ahaha! Good one!" Ivan yelled, and received many stares. "Eh…I mean…nothing cough."

"That's the author?" Felix yelled as he sizzled inside the Black Cauldron of Demise. "Sheesh you evil creature! You killed me, revived me, and now you're cooking me? YOU CRUEL MONSTER!"

The Djinni, who is I, is now called Toasty Tootles Joe Stephanie Smith. Toespy for short.

"Toespy! Look at the damage you are wreaked!" Isaac screamed.

"No, no, no. It's look at the damage you are wrea-KING." Toespy scoffed. "I'm going to be the cook no matter what, so face it buzzard face."

**Teh Be Continued! I PROMISE!**

A/N: ACK! WHAT WILL I DO! MY ALTER EGO TOESPY HAS INVADED! KILL! KILL! Well I finally updated. Thanks for waiting peoples. I hope you still like my story!

Ivan: Nobody likes your story.

CBF: Shut up.

Toespy: That's right, shut up.

CBF: Shut up Toespy.

Toespy: No way.

CBF: YOUR NAME INCLUDES TOE AND SPY! OHHHHH!

Toespy: GAH! CBF HAS FOUND…A WEAK POINT! ARGH! wilts slightly

CBF: Hah! Now continuing on. I'm stuck on ideas, so I'll begin taking some of yours…Reaches over and brings up Review Box and begins rummaging through Well…there are some nice reviews here. BUT NOT ENOUGH! Joking, I don't want to be conceited…I'm already thankful for all these reviews already.

THANKS FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS MY ADORING (if there are any) FANS!


	13. Fer Relz Match! Reality Check Please?

Chapter 10 – Fer Relz Match! Reality Check Please?

A/N: As you know…my alter ego Toespy came…to visit…and I was feeling rather hyper!!! I'd like M&M's, chocolate, sweets…and candy! That's cause Toespy escaped. Ja! Toespy!!! Now read!!! It's been a very long time! But I might be able to fininsh this ! I mean...finish! HAHAH!H AHH!

* * *

Isaac stared. Ivan gaped. Felix groaned. Piers snored. And Garet let out an ear-splitting scream.

"NUUUUU! IT'S TOESPY! THE ONE WHO TORTURED ME WHEN I WAS DEAAAAAAAAAAHHHDDHH!!"

Toespy glared at him evilly.

"That's right fools! I'm here for revenge!!!" He, She, or It screeched and pounced at the most vulnerable…Garet.

Garet yelped as the Djinni pounced on him and began attacking with its head…this was a strange sight. Since the Djinni was so stubby…yah. You got the picture…or do you?

Garet was beginning to die again when Flint pounced out from Isaac's hair furiously.

"I'll taketh you oneth, slimebucket of a djinni! Youeth maketh useth looketh badeth! Ieth won'teth leteth thateth happeneth! Fighteth Meth!!" Flint declared, advancing on the Djinni.

"Umm…Reality Check?" Ivan said. "I thought Toespy doesn't exist – only in the authors mind."

"Um…I haven't gotten that into my head yet." The real crazy-but-fun replied, sweatdropping slightly.

By that time, Toespy and Flint were facing off, yelling smart-talk at one another.

"_You're fat and dumb,_

_You suck on your thumb,_

_Though you have none,_

_You are so done,_

_I'll beat you to a pulp,_

_Scrub you with soap,_

_I'll stab your gut,_

_I'll kick you in the…eh…"_

"Yes. Do not say anymore Flint." Crazy-but-fun replied, slightly frazzled that Flint chose the words 'stab your gut'. "This is a rated K story."

"_Well you've got no brain,_

_You've got no beard, you've got a mane,_

_It's bushy and ugly,_

_And you fight rather badly,_

_You're dumb and stupid,_

_I'm glad you'll be rid,_

_Because that's what I'm here to do today,_

…_I'm getting kinda dizzy from my constant sway."_

Toespy moaned as he she or it toppled over on the ground.

"You've been taking music lessons from A.H.H, haven't you?" Flint asked.

"Here's your chance!" Isaac yelled to Flint. "I'll summon something to help you!"

"Never! That addle-brained idiot isn't getting away by singing dumb songs!" Flint retorted and attempted to kick the other Djinni, which was rather comical because Flint was so pudgy.

"Stop teasing me!" Flint wailed and attempted to now punch the other Djinni, also a failure, because Djinni don't have arms or hands. So he whacked Toespy with his tail.

"Hey!" Toespy roared. "Don't think you can get away with all this pain you're giving me!"

Toespy jumped up and charged down and Flint. Flint jumped up and began to dash towards his charging enemy.

"They-a goin-a co-a-lide! They-re a-gonna co-lide to-day!!!" Ivan sang loudly and Piers whacked him once more with the Mace of Doom.

"Shush!" he hissed. "We all wanna see what's about to happen!"

Ivan frowned. Nobody cared huh? Well he'd show them…HE'D SHOW THEM ALL!

"I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!!!" he yelled and sent a huge whirlwind which Isaac and Felix easily hid away in a ground barrier while Piers formed an ice formation around him and hid. Garet was blown off the ground. The wind receded. Garet fell. WHOO! I mean… As Garet fell to the ground with a crack, the ice split open! Yay! Freedom! Eh…heh? But now he was in the path of a new whirlwind. Yay. Garet was blown away because he was smart enough to figure if he set the whirlwind on fire, he'd be burnt to a crisp. But who would care? …well I shouldn't say that. Some people would. SORRY!

After the whirlwind receded, Flint and Toespy…were…erm…confused…

"I am Toespy!" Cried Flint or Toespy.

"I am Flint!" Cried Flint or Toespy.

"I am you!" one of them cried.

"I am YOU!" the other yelled.

"I HATE YOU,

YOU HATE ME,

LET'S BE ONE MAD FAMILY,

WITH A GREAT BIG KICK

AND A PUNCH FROM ME TO YOU,

WON'T YOU SAY YOU HATE ME TOO!!!" The two djinni began to sing off key and beat.

"Let's get out of here." Isaac muttered.

"Agreed." Felix replied and all the adepts left. Leaving behind Toespy and Flint. Bad idea. BIG MISTAKE. Toespy grabbed Flint. And put him into the stew. Felix was no longer there…so plenty of excess space for veggies, meats, and all that other good stuff.

"HE-ELP!" Flint wailed as he began to sizzle.

We now go back to the Adepts…avoiding the violent scene (do not fear, Flint willn't die.)

* * *

"Do you really think it was all right to leave Flint behind?" Piers whined slightly. He was only finding a chance to use his Mace of Doom again.

"YES." Isaac snapped. "Flint can take care of himself."

"Of course." Felix added, a false and grimaced smile on his face. "Flint is quite reliable."

Ivan stared at Felix and 'peered into his thoughts'.

_AARGH!!! I HATE ISAAC! HE'S SO MUCH STRONGER THAN ME!!! I'M GONNA KILL FLINT!!! I'M STUCK WITH THIS WHIMP OF A DJINNI ECHO, WHO CAN ONLY ECHO WHATEVER I SAY! FLINT CAN ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING!!! …I'LL SHOW THEM. I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!!! _

"Sheesh," Ivan muttered under his breath. "Talk about vengeful." This totally contradicted himself however because just several moments ago, he was yelling, "I'll show them, I'll show them all."

"Excuse me? Did you say something?" asked the now Wise Garet, bowing to Ivan, eyes closed and jutting out horse-teeth like some crazy wise guy.

"No." Ivan growled and whacked him with the now useless Shaman's Rod that he had conveniently stolen from Moapa while his back was turned.

"Oy!" Isaac loomed above Ivan. "Did you conveniently steal that now useless Shaman's Rod from Moapa while his back was turned?"

Ivan squeaked and began to run when Isaac grabbed him. He covered his head, expecting a painful punishment.

"WELL DONE!!!" Isaac sang. "REVENGE ON MOAPA IS MINE!!!"

"What did he ever do to you?" Piers muttered. "He made _us_ go through that dumb Happy Sunshine Trails Road to get the Hover thingy."

"Ahem." A familiar voice snapped. "Make that: 'He made us go through Trial Road to get the Hover Gem…at least I THINK that's what it's called."

It was Mia. The 'enigmatic' one who enjoyed popping up out of nowhere and correcting peoples words.

"Oh…Oh dearie me…" Garet whimpered and cowered behind Piers. Bad choice indeed.

Mia rounded on Garet.

"HOW DARE YOU SPREAD DIRT ON MY LOVE, PIERS!!!" she snarled and attacked him.

"I thought you loved me." Isaac growled bluntly. Mia stopped attacking Garet, and went to apologize to Isaac, while Piers stood confused, Garet still cowering with several lumps on his head.

* * *

Meanwhile, Flint was sizzling…

But we won't get into detail, now will we?

Have no fear, Flint will be rescued…eventually…eheh…eheheheh…

* * *

After all the excitement with Isaac and company…we arrive at the fact…what of Saturos and Menardi?

Well…After his little incident with the singing fools…

"I can't believe this…" Saturos groaned, flopping onto the ground. "It's worse than I thought…"

"Saturos' sick!" Menardi finished, a huge grin pulling on her face. "I can't _believe_ you! You fell to SINGERS!" she then fell into fits of laughter. "And now, you're sick! I'm really getting a kick out of this!"

To prove her point, she gave her brother a hard kick in the stomach as he writhed on the floor.

"Oh THANKS." Saturos huffed sarcastically as the air was knocked out of him. "Oomph!" he added.

"Well…It's not _everyday_ YOU get beaten up by a group of teens who enjoy singing lovely songs…" Menardi sniffed, upset at her brother's lack of satisfaction.

"I GOT BEATEN UP BY ISAAC'S COMPANY. THAT'S A GROUP OF TEENS. AND THE AHH DON'T SING LOVELY SONGS – THEY SING THE WORST!!!" Saturos burst out furiously, stamping a foot on the ground.

"Immature brat!" Menardi squawked persistently.

"Look who's talking!" Saturos retorted, and bounced up from the ground. "As far as I know, _you're_ the 'immature brat'!"

_And so, Saturos and Menardi argued to their demise…OR DID THEY? The world may never know.

* * *

_

_Ok, NOW I think I'm ready to finish The Flint and Toespy Epic!!! AHAHA!_

Toespy had left Flint boiling in the pot for around…two hours now. If it hadn't been Flint cooking in the pot, Isaac would have applauded Toespy for his great cooking skill and given him a trophy. Unfortunately, it was Flint. Too bad Toespy, no trophy.

But since Toespy gets bored all the time, like the author of this story (why else would I type such…'interesting' stories now?), he left the pot of boiling water with Flint in it. The thought never crossed his mind that Flint could probably escape. And when the thought hit him, Flint was long since gone with a rather…nicely…burned…um…backside.

"This…stinks…" Flint growled, frustrated with his super-brown behind, waddling off to try find the adepts who had long since kindly abandoned him. "That Toespy…why…I'd…KILL HIM!!!"

Meanwhile, Toespy was erupting with fury on how _stupid_ he had been. Why, if he had Flint right then, he would have asked him if he wanted ice cream…but that was pretty smart, compared to how he forgot about Flint. Or was it?

_Actually…I wasn't that ready to finish it, so Flint will have to wait his turn for FAME!!! …But there be no fame.

* * *

_

A/N: Well, running out of ideas once more…must this story make such random turns? But I've finally got an actual idea for the conclusion - just you wait, it will be so stupid you'll laugh! Or it'll be so great you'll laugh! Or something bad! Whatever!! YAY!!!


End file.
